FOUNTAIN OF JOKES

Discussion in 'Jokes And Riddles' started by Deblow, Oct 2, 2010.

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    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    Let me be treating you to seasons of hilarious jokes that can throw you off-balance on this thread.
    Ama coming soon.....
    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    A young man who was just paid his three-month salary arrears on a cool day, just walked into a beer joint to have some shots.
    On getting there, the guy got enmeshed in the euphoria of having so much money on him and decided to drink more.
    He drank until he became so drunk and staggered out of the joint.
    He could not move too far before he got weak and slept near an un-completed building.
    When night fell, some hoodlums came, scraped the hair on his head after taking all his money from his pockets.
    They then left him and left......
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    Deblow Guru Member

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    .....when morning came, the guy's eyes became clear and he came back to his senses.
    ''What am I doing here'' he asked no-one in particular
    Quickly, he ran his hands thru all his pockets looking for his money and he could not find it.
    ''Yeh! am finished! my money is gone!'' the guy threw himself up and down he went.
    By now a small crowd had gathered watching and sympathizing with him.
    Suddenly, the guy ran his palm on his head and discovered it was clean-shaven.
    Realizing this, he jumped up in jubilation and said '' Thank God, it is not me!''
    ''I have hair on my head and the person whose money is stolen can't be me''
    In this jubilation he made straight home shouting ''its not me, thank God''
    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    Ama coming for more rib-Cr@cking jokes after reading few comments to this first one which I call 'appetizer''
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    jajaco Guru Member

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    U try. U can do beta

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    This morning my Director walked into the office and caught the Manager kissing his Secretary.
    In his anger he shouted "is this what I pay you to do?"
    The Manager nervously answered "no Sir; THIS I DO FREE OF CHARGE!"

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    A man was dying of cancer. His son Johnny asked him
    "Dad why do you always tell people you are dying of AIDS"
    He answered "so that when am dead no one will dare touch your mum"

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    Johnny said to his mum " mum do you know that our house-help Comfort is an Angel?"
    Mum replied "how do you mean".
    Well Johnny started "yestaday when you went to the market, I saw Comfort naked in Daddys room shouting ouch- god am cumming. If not for dad that held her tightly by the waist, we would have lost her to heaven by now"
    Immediately the woman faited

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    Paul was dying of an un-known  illness. 

    His wife sat at the bedside comforting him.

    He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
    "There's no need to," his wife replied.

    "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, and your best friend!"

    "I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work"
    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    I love those ones, Johnyk. More pls.

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    thanks man. dem lock my own thread, so i'll partner with u to make this a bomb

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    take this for today

    Marriage is the chief cause of divorce

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I'm married to a wrong man"

    expaboy Member

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    Hmn... Una dey try jor...

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    Twenty Four hours After United States concluded the Presidential election.
    The winner Mr Barack Obama is celebrating his victory.
    The Nigerian President has just arrived the United state with his entourage to congratulate him.

    "This is really a surprise" said Obama to the Nigerian President

    "American are advanced, they know the results immediately after the election"

    "See You" replied the Nigerian President.
    "We Nigerians are more advanced, we always know the result even before the election". lol

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    In order to surprise her husband, the wife of a  company executive decided to stop by her husband's office.

    On entering the office, she saw the females secretary sitting on her husband’s laps.

    In order to defend himself knowing he has been caught red-handed,

    the husband said shouting “budget cut or no budget cut, management must do something. I and my
    secretary cannot be sharing this office with just a single seat"!!
    • Guru Member

    jajaco Guru Member

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    where we dey?

    Daar Member

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    I love this thread
    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    A medical doctor visited his aged dad in the village and d old man enquired to be given a tutorial on how to avoid contacting HIV. The son simply told him 'by wearing condom'. The following morin d doctor left back for Lagos...
    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    ...In the night armed robbers came visiting the old man and asked him to choose btw giving them all the money his son gave him for his project and having an HIV infected blood already drawn in a syringe injected into his body. The old man suddenly remembered what his son told him and choose the HIV blood but requested to be allowed to visit the toilet first which wz granted...
    • Guru Member

    Deblow Guru Member

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    The man just went and wore condom on his manhood and confidently walked up to the robbers who injected the HIV infected blood into his system!

    johnyk Upcoming Guru

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    just passing
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    freshguy Guru Member

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    good job.keep it up

    ∟£б£♫à Member

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    Gbegbe Member

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    tucoâ„¢ Member

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